Vacation Part II

Saturday morning we get up and head to the gym. Husband and I have a pretty good workout. I thought to myself that this was a good start to continuing some sort of workout on the boat. You will find no mention of exercise in any parts of this saga. So that didn't carry on like I had hoped.

The group caught a bus to the boat and after a bit of confusion as to where to park we finally made it. We got our magic money cards (room key and you can charge anything to your room instead of carrying cash or another credit card) and got through all the other check points OK. Finally we were on the ship.

First thing we did was to find our room. We were next to couple #3. It was us, #3, #5, and #2. Couple 1 was a floor below us as they got a mini-suite. The next item was eating. When on a cruise food is available pretty much 24/7. For some reason we ate all the time. Even when we weren't really hungry. The food was pretty good though.

We were able to open the doors of our balconies so we could walk through to all the other balconies in our group. All of us were outside chatting for the most part. Couple #1 came up and all 5 couples were hanging out. The women were discussing spa treatments. Everyone wanted to get at least 1 thing done. I had gotten my hair cut/colored, a facial and a massage before we left. The cost of these on the ship were almost double what we pay here. I didn't want to spend that much money. At one point I made the comment that we probably weren't going to do any spa treatments. I see this was a mistake now. Anyway, I started to unpack and hang things up when I realized all 4 girls had gone to the spa. I felt very left out. Even though I wasn't going to sign up for anything, I would have liked to have been included. At this point I wasn't sure this had been a good idea. I worried that the whole trip would be like this. Everyone would go and find wonderful things to do and I would be left out. As I finished unpacking I finally let this go. I kept telling myself that I would have fun regardless of what everyone else did. This worked pretty well for me.

So we were on our way. The first few days were at sea so we explored the ship, sat in the hot tub, and played card and board games. Oh yeah, and we ate constantly. The meals at night were very good and you could get as many items as you wanted. We saw a comedian that was almost funny. I think his show was more adult and there were kids in the audience so he might have held back a little. We also saw a hypnotist. He was very entertaining.

At times we could see the coastline of Mexico on our way. The first stop was Puerto Vallarta and that was the most southern stop we made. I'll pick up with that next.

Vacation Part I

Our first vacation since before getting pregnant. Woo hoo. We went on a cruise to Mexico. I was so excited to go on this vacation, but didn't want to say too much out loud. What if something happened. A few days before leaving Peanut got several red bumps on his body. Turned out to be nothing, but my fear was chicken pox. Ugh. Peanut went to stay with his aunt and had a good time as I knew he would.

We started off on Friday morning. First we took the dogs to the vet for boarding, then to the bank and Target. Then we stopped at Burger King for breakfast before heading to the airport. We parked and rode the little shuttle to the airport where we met two other couples that were going with us. Did you know there is a weight limit on baggage? We did not know this until bag number 3 weighed 5 lbs. over. You can pay $25 or switch some stuff to another bag. So I moved a couple shoes and a pair of jeans to a different suitcase. The bags passed and we were on our way. The flight was OK. For some reason the plane got jumpy right when I had to use the bathroom. I got in there and we hit some turbulence. Of course it was gone after I was done and on my way to my seat.

We took a bus from the airport to the hotel. It was a nice hotel and we had a good view of the pool area. We met our friends in the lobby and headed to the hotel restaurant for lunch. L.A. is different. The menu said "club sandwich with a twist". I thought maybe it had sushi or something on it, but the server said it was long way like a sub instead of cut into squares like normal. OK. It was cut into 4 sections and then stacked up and held together with a very long toothpick. It was still a club sandwich. Not sure really what the twist was supposed to be.

We all took the bus to Santa Monica that night. We walked along the pier and through the promenade. There were 4 couples total all walking around. Couple 1 (KH) was hungry since they got in later than us and didn't eat at the hotel. So we found a bar and grill type place and they ate, while the rest of us had drinks. Then we walked more. Couple 2 (JA) left to visit a cousin. Later couple 3 (RK) was hungry so we stopped for sushi. They ate and the rest of us had more to drink. Then we caught the bus back to the hotel and we (couple 4) were hungry again. We went to the sports bar in the hotel and had desert, while the rest had more drinks. It was like a 4 course meal spread out over 4 restaurants. It was fun. Then off to bed.

More later.

It's Just Not Right

In the last several weeks I've seen it happen too many times. Parents that yell from the sidelines instead of getting close and helping their children. Or they yell at the slightly older sibling to take care of the younger one. I'll give you an example.

We were at the beach in Puerto Vallarta. The area we were at had a short beach so playing meant either being in the sand or fairly deep water. There were two little girls holding hands and playing. One looked to be 2 and the other maybe 4. I am terrible at guessing ages, but the younger one didn't talk much, but could walk well. So they are playing and they get kind of close to the water and go in a bit. The father yells from about 20 feet away for them to get back to the sand. He's not moving toward them, he's just yelling. So finally, he walks over to them and starts yelling at the older girl that she has to watch out for the younger one. He tells her that she can't swim and the tide would just take her away and she would be gone. She was 4. This man expected a 4 yr old to care for a smaller child. I don't trust adults to care for my 16 month old how can he put that on a 4 yr old's shoulders. I was disgusted.

Later on we were walking in the area of the girls playing and they got in pretty far. The mom was nearby with a drink in her hand not really paying attention. The dad started yelling again from the shore. My husband ran over and grabbed one of them and pulled them back to shore. The mom finally decided her child was worth saving and grabbed the other one. Of course the dad started yelling about how they shouldn't be in the water. WTF? Husband and I agreed that the kids were probably not in any danger as they were not in too deep, but he said the kid he grabbed looked pretty scared just the same.

If your child was almost swept away by the tide, wouldn't you go sprinting after them? Well, most of us would be close to them in the first place, but still go with me here. So after you got them, wouldn't you hold them close and be happy to have them in your arms? Wouldn't your first thought be 'thank you'? Wouldn't you then tell them that they scared mommy and daddy and they need to stay in the safe area?

I've seen lots more just like this. Absent parenting. You don't have to be paranoid, but at least try to participate.

Babble Baby, Babble.

Peanut babbles. He will not stop. I understand every 100th word or so, but it's all just sound to me. There must be stories and questions and general narration, but it's all lost on me.

He's starting to talk though. Once in a while he will repeat one of the last words you say.

Me: "Get your shoes".
Peanut: "oooooooes".

We have two sign language videos and we were watching the second one the other night. He repeated almost all the words. He did the signs a little too, but mostly just said the word.

One of my favorites now is 'baby'. He learned the 'eee' sound not long ago and instead of ba ba or ma ma, he can now say baby and mommy. It's music to my ears. He has this little voice. Sometimes I expect to hear a man voice since he is so big, but this little toddler boy voice comes out and it's too cute.

Sometimes I really hate that he is growing up, but mostly I think it's awesome to watch him grow and learn. He does so much for himself now. He can walk and communicate a little. He knows things. He isn't just a blob on the rug anymore (though that stage was wonderful and I have very fond memories of it).

Words he seems to know.
Car, dog, baby, Mommy, ma ma, da da, daddy, pa-pop (grandpa), nana/banana, oat (coat), ooes (shoes), ee (teeth), and t (tv). That's all I can think of, but he'll repeat other things. These seem to be more regular though.

She Kicked My Bum and I Paid Her

I signed up with a personal trainer. Yah, yah yah. I used to be one. So what? I have no motivation anymore. So to help me on my quest to a more healthy me I've hired help. Since we belong to the local YMCA I got one there. It seems expensive, but per session it's pretty cheap compared to other places in town. The whole process of signing up sort of rubbed me the wrong way. This was all a couple weeks ago.

The Y was having a sale on personal training. If you signed up by a certain date you got 10% off. So I figure that's a good time to do it. I called on a Friday (1/26) and the girl was helpful and got me signed up and paid for. She takes the information (what time I want, male/female) and then sends that to the personal trainer director. Then the director is supposed to match me with a trainer and the trainer calls me to set up the appointment. Clear? Fabulous. Normally, this process takes 1-2 days at most.

So I waited. By Tuesday (1/30) I was starting to wonder. So I called and was told the director was on vacation. OK. Who is covering her job? No one. Apparently, she is the only person that does her job. I left a voice mail for her hoping someone might call me back. The next day (1/31) a very inept guy called me and asked me what time I wanted and did I prefer a male or female trainer. I gave my info. again. He said he would find someone and they would call me soon. He also said he would call me on Friday to follow up.

Friday (2/2) comes along and no one has called. Not even the inept guy. I'm starting to think this whole process is some sort of sham. Finally on Saturday (2/3) afternoon inept guy calls me and leaves a message. I tried to call back and got nothing. Apparently he disappeared 5 minutes after calling me.

So now it's been over a week. The director girl is supposed to be back from vacation and I am still in my funk. So on about Tuesday (2/6) she leaves me a voice mail. "Just wanted to make sure a trainer called and you're doing fine". Uhhhm. No. So I call back and finally reach her. She takes my information (AGAIN!) and says she'll have some one call me. I'm not really believing her, but what have I got to lose. Certainly not any flab. I mean at this point I kind of doubt I'll ever see a trainer. Well. Low and behold a trainer calls me the next day (2/7). She sounds nice, but isn't all that excited about the time I wanted. So we make an appointment for 1:00 Tuesday (2/20), two days after we get back from our vacation.

Originally I wanted the appointments to be on Tuesday and Thursday because those are days Peanut is not at daycare. This would be good because he can go to the nursery there and get a different play time, plus it leaves my daycare days free.

Anyway, I pushed the appt. back an hour due to Peanut napping. She can't do anything later than a 2:00 appt. and that seemed pretty close to the end of nap time. I didn't want to have to wake him up to go to the Y. Really I wanted a 3:00 appt. She couldn't do that. So we moved it to Mon. & Wed. at 10. So now on every day off I go to the Y. It's OK, but it also kind of irks me. When I told everyone my schedule I asked for late afternoon in the 2-4 time frame. Now I don't have that. If I was more pushy I would have just asked for a new trainer. I felt sort of stuck with her so I tried to just make it work. Now I kind of wish I would have spoken up. Do I call and try to change? I've had one session and like her OK, but the time just doesn't jive well for me.

Anyway, I finally went to the Y yesterday and met the trainer "J". She is nice, but a little older than I expected. She kicked my butt though. Lunges, squats, thighs, hamstrings, butt and so much more. Every inch of me hurts today. I can barely walk.

Oh The Weather Outside is Frightful

So a week or two ago the Midwest was blasted with ice and snow. My mother (lord help me) lives in an area that got mostly ice with a little snow. She called me on Sunday afternoon and said she was bored. Her power had gone out sometime Saturday evening. She was cold, hungry, bored and lonely. The plan was to barricade herself in her bedroom until the power came back on. For breakfast she had dry cereal (she has this everyday so no big deal), but no eggs or bacon or toast. For lunch she dined on Peanut Butter and Crackers. Dinner was some sort of thawed lunch meat. Yum. Yum.

I told her to get out and go somewhere. The power wasn't expected to be fixed for days as most of the town was without power. My sister lives in the same town and I suggested she go there. Long story short she lost power that night. So now my mom and sister are without power. A friend of my mother's, S. offered to go get my mom and let her stay at her house. S had no power either, but had a wood stove and frequently cooked on it. She also had lanterns and other stuff to make no power a little more cozy. Mom didn't want to go. She didn't want to be stuck out there. I told her to go. Better off stuck somewhere you can eat warm food, sit next to a fire and have a friend to chat with. She still didn't want to go.

I suggested a hotel, but she is so cheap she would never pay the money. At this point I felt like I was talking to a child. Finally I reminded her that this is the type of weather people die in when they try to "wait it out". I did not want my mother to be the one to die because she was too cheap and stubborn to go somewhere or accept help.

Finally, she and my sister went to stay with S. She ended up giving them a truck load of wood and they hid out at my sisters house sitting near the fireplace. At least they were able to make some food over the fire too. Am I the only one that would have just gone to the local Holiday Inn to live in comfort? They were without power for nine (9) days. They were going to 'wait it out' for nine days. I almost lost my mom and sister to stupidity.

P.S. Z is for Zamboni. Everyone needs one of these.

Sucker

So I bit the bullet and went to Sephora. As I walked through the door a mechanical arm flew at me and stamped the word 'sucker' on my forehead. I'm mostly a cosmetics virgin. Yah, I've tried tons of stuff, but I really don't know this from that. The sales people knew this the instant I walked through the door.

The girl was nice and asked what I was looking for. I thought I should start easy and asked for foundation. I told her of my skin condition and she led me to something called Lorac. Anyway, it's sort of a creamy liquid so this would work for my dry skin. She dabbed a few different shades on me and proclaimed me to be Light. Being the savvy shopper I am I asked for another option. I don't remember the second one, but it was $10 more so I sort of eliminated it based on that. I put my creamy foundation in the giant basket, thanked my sales lady and began browsing.

What is all the rest of the stuff? There were perfumes, creams, lotions, sprays, make up and soaps. That was just in the first isle. I quickly felt out of my league. I shop at Target. I buy CoverGirl. I spend $6 so that when it's the wrong stuff I haven't spent the same amount of money as new sneakers.

Here is the ironic part. I bought the Lorac foundation. I can't get it out of the jar. It is SO creamy that it doesn't pour. The bottle is glass so it doesn't squeeze. So my mondo expensive foundation is stuck in a little bottle. I went back to Target and spent $6 on some whipped foundation by CoverGirl and I love it. The jar is large so you can get the stuff out and it blends really well. The coverage is good. The only downside is the smell. It's awful.

I think I'll stick to not knowing about that other stuff. I may be missing out on something, but my wallet can't handle the testing phase. I'll go broke

Maybe Not.

Maybe it's because I'm more hormonal right now. Maybe it's because of my medicine. Maybe it's because Peanut has entered the realm of the temper tantrum. Maybe it's because I'll be 32 this year and still have no idea what I want out of life. I have always been something other than me. When I was young I did what I was supposed to do, not what I wanted. In college I did what got me out of there, not really what I wanted. Now I do what has to be done, not what I want. Truthfully, I don't know what I want.

I have a great husband and a great kid. We live in a nice house with nice stuff. We have nice friends and family and all that stuff. Then why am I not happy? Why do I feel less than alive? Why do I feel like there is some alternate life out there for me? Is there?

Anyway, Peanut and I went to Borders today. Husband wanted me to get a Zamboni book for Peanut. We went and walked around a lot. I finally got Peanut to go to the kids department. I found the book and a few others. Then it was time to check out. We made it to the check stand and there were a handful of people in line. This is where it all went wrong. Peanut did not want to be held and voiced his opinion about it. Loudly. I couldn't let him go and could not get him to quiet down. I ended up putting the books down and walking out with him. I was so angry. He stopped screaming as soon as we reached the car. We went home anyway. I know in a few years this will be a good punishment for him. Right now he doesn't care. He has no idea what he missed out on. I do though. I was sad and angry. Why couldn't we just buy a book? Anyway, this whole incident got me thinking today.

It's Been a While

So much to say and yet nothing worthy of writing. We survived the Holidays. Peanut has a cold (again) and life goes on.

I feel blah. This is sort of becoming a blahg instead of a blog. Anyway, I'm not sure what to do about it. The babysitter we had is starting a new semester at school and has no time for us. This might be a problem. I've come to rely on the breaks and time to myself. Spending every moment with Peanut is a joy, but also kind of overwhelming. I have done it and will do it, but it still worries me a little. You see, when I don't get enough sleep it's very hard for me to be patient. Little things blow up to big things and then I feel stupid for not handling a little thing with ease. If I'm well rested the days go pretty smooth. Here is the bump. I'm not sleeping well. I'm not tired at night and I wake up a lot during the night.

The bad taste in my mouth is gone. I stopped a pill and that fixed it. I kind of wanted to keep taking it, but it wasn't a big deal to stop. I may try to find a different one that doesn't make me ill. The other pill got switched a bit too. It was twice a day and now it's once a day, but it's the same dosage. So far I like it much better. No daily headache or nausea. I still don't sleep well though.

Be of Good Cheer. If You Can.

Right. Something is making me ill. For the past several days I have had a metallic taste in my mouth. It can be covered by some food, but not all. Water seems to magnify it, while life savors cover it nicely. Anyway, this is leading to constant snacking to keep my mouth happy. I'm also feeling nauseous. This could be because of the yucky taste or totally separate. Either way, large parts of my day are spent eating and/or resting. No. I'm not pregnant in case anyone was curious.

So let's head for the holidays. Tonight we will have our Christmas with Peanut and Husband. Tomorrow we head to Missouri. Sunday we have Christmas with my family (say a little prayer we survive) and then leave Monday to go to Husbands Uncle's house to have a lunch with Husbands family. At some point we will go to my Father-In-Law's house and stay there a while. I think we'll spend some (a lot of ?) time visiting friends in that area. We have to be home by Saturday as we are having yet another Christmas with our friends. Then Sunday is when we are celebrating my nephews birthday. His birthday is actually the 28th, but no one will be around then so they moved it to New Year's Day. Splendid.

So Merry Christmas to all and be safe in your travels. May the New Year be prosperous and kind to you all.

Secret Spot

While I was away this weekend I bought husband a Christmas gift. When I got home I put it in a 'secret' spot to hide until I could wrap it later. Husband also bought me gifts while I was away. As I was unpacking, husband realized he left a bag from one of the stores in the living room. I hadn't really noticed it and only saw it was a pink bag. He had me close my eyes while he rushed to hide the bag.

So the next day I was wrapping gifts and went to get his present from its hiding spot. It was in a big box in the basement. I opened the box and there on top was the bag from VS that husband tried to hide. Directly under the bag was his gift still in it's bag. The funny thing is that he was in such a hurry to hide the bag he didn't look in the box, he just shoved it in. So now I know where one of my gifts came from, but I don't know what it is. And he only know where I hid his gift. Guess we'll have to find new hiding spots.

Random

What's a girl got to do to stop breaking out? I know it's because of stress mostly, but I'm not 13 anymore. What is up with this? I wash may face, I give it lotion and I make it pretty once in a while. What more does it want? Help!

I do not look as good in black & silver outfits as I do the tan & browns. Today I did grey sweater, jeans, tennis shoes that happen to match the purple in the sweater and it just wasn't rocking for me. Granted the jeans are a bit old, but they fit so they got picked. I did my makeup with pink and grey and no love there either. I guess it's true that you have colors that flatter and the brown family is it for me. I really like this sweater though. Don't get me wrong, I look nice, but not wow you know? I believe that clothes can make you feel certain ways and today I'm saying "I look nice, but a little off."

What kind of make up am I supposed to wear? Let's start with foundation. Liquid, powder, lotion or what? Nothing seems to give me the 'flawless' appearance that Cover Girl talks about. This sort of relates to the skin problems (see paragraph 1) so maybe if that was fixed then the make up wouldn't matter. I'm thinking of going to Sephora and throwing myself at the mercy of the clerks there. My fear is I'll either look like Tammy F. Baker or Death. I can be a bit on the pale side so I need a hint of color, but too much and I look like I'm playing in mothers makeup. Again. Help!

I need jeans. I HATE shopping for jeans. You must try them on because a size x in one brand is not a size x in another. I also hate paying $50 for jeans. Can't they make denim for like $25? Maybe I'm cheap, but it's just jeans. Any suggestions as to store, style, brand, make, model and gas mileage. Wait, not that last part, unless you know something I don't.

Spending money on myself is a problem too. I just don't do it. Sure I buy a book or magazine once in a while, but I don't just buy outfits. Price tends to be the biggest factor. I can find a pair of pants I like for $70. What happens when Peanut barfs on it? Uhhh, can you say stain? Dry clean or whatever, some things just don't come out.

I need something done to my hair. The color is ok, but the style is a little tired. It's just all one length and straight. I pull it into a pony tail and then it looks blah, boring. I don't want to cut it, but maybe some bangs. I don't know. To fix it it really needs to be washed, dried straight and then have the ends curled a bit. That looks great, but takes like an hour. Are there any products I should try? Once again (say it with me now). Help!

ZZZzzzzzz

I'm tired. Went to the doctor. Got new medication. One side effect is insomnia. Great. I haven't slept through the night in three days. Almost feels like I have a newborn again except milk doesn't squirt out of me anymore.

On the up side some things are getting better. I'm just having a little trouble enjoying them while being sleepy. We'll see how things progress.

In other news I am thankful that we are fortunate enough to have a regular babysitter. It's a lot of money if you just sit and think about it (I don't!) but my sanity is worth it. Peanut is/was sick and me being sleepy I need the breaks from him. While he doesn't feel good though he does like to snuggle.

Not much else to report right now. Computer is having issues so you never know when it will up and reboot on you. Save. Save. Save.

I'll try to be more amusing next time.

Klutz

Peanut is walking now. Actually, he has been walking for a while now and has gotten pretty good at it. Our friends K and H have a boy as well and he began walking a couple months before Peanut. He would fall and crash into things all the time. Every time we saw him he had bruises on his head or a cut lip. Peanut didn't crash. Sure he lands on his bottom a lot and the house sort of shudders in response, but no bruising.

Then this weekend happened. Apparently, while I was out Peanut crashed into the tub. There was a toy or cup or something in there he wanted and just fell in head first. He must have bit his lips because there are cuts on top and bottom lips. Daddy cleaned him up and soothed away his tears. When I can home the first thing I noticed was that Peanut had on a different shirt. I asked Husband about it and he said there was an accident. I imagined a poopie diaper, but it was the crash.

Then the next day as I was watching him while Husband was out we were again in the bathroom. He started to head to the tub and I ran over to him to head off another fall into the tub. I got there and we started to walk away only to fall over between the toilet and tub. He now has a tiny bruise on his head. He also crashed into a doorway, but that wasn't quite as exciting. Just a few tears and he was ok and on his way.

The kid is wild about moving around. He just does not sit still much. That's ok with me except it makes me much more tired. At least I get my exercise chasing after him.

There is a Monster in my House

Why is it that I have fabulous ideas for posts and then when I sit down to write them I can't remember anything? Since the good stuff has been forgotten I'll tell you a story of the worst encounter I had in our basement bathroom.

I was pretty pregnant at the time, but can't remember the exact date. Maybe somewhere in month 8 I guess. Husband and I were in our television room in the basement watching TV or a movie and eating something. I spilled it on my shirt. Now usually I would have let it sit too long and become a permanent stain, but this time I went to wash it off. I think I liked the shirt so I wanted to keep it stain free. Anyway, I went into the bathroom and ran a washcloth under the sink. Then I started to rub away the stain. When I looked back into the sink there was the absolute biggest spider I've ever seen. I let out a scream and my toes curled under (a sign of true fear for me). Husband came running thinking it was something to do with the baby. As I was running away from it I mumbled something like "a spider, a spider, a spider go kill it."

Husband did not kill it right away. He took pictures and sort of captured it under a towel or cup for a while. It was huge. This wasn't a spider you could just step on and be done with it. He had to plan out how to kill and dispose of it. You had to poison this thing, get a crane to lift it out and dig a giant grave for it. Blech! It still creeps me out to think of it. I'm not that crazy about any bugs, but having a giant spider in my house really sent me over the top. I wanted to move.

To Give is Better than...

On one hand I really like this time of year. Things look so beautiful with lights and greenery. I love just sitting and watching the tree lights twinkle. Wrapping gifts is my absolute favorite. I need to find a job where all I do is wrap gifts for money. That would be awesome.

On the other hand I don't care too much for having to find gifts for people I can't think of something for. It feels so fake to buy them something just so I can wrap it and hand it to them. Unless there is some emotion or meaning behind it, it feels fake. I'm trying this year to really think of the person and try to come up with something that fits them.

At Target today I managed to grab a few gifts. Mostly toys for the kids, but one or two adults are taken care of. I'm heading to the Mall tomorrow for some more shopping time. I'd like to have it all done in the next week. The stores all get SO crazy this time of year and it only gets worse as Christmas gets nearer.

My biggest trouble this year is what to get the husband. There are several things he would like, but most of the things I think of are pretty expensive and we're on a budget with only one income. Anyone have any suggestions? Again, the trouble is I want it to fit him. I don't want to give something just for the sake of handing him something. When he opens it I want him to be delighted to have gotten it from me. Maybe I should check Ebay. Because you know you can get it on Ebay.

Sugar and Spice, Snips and Snails

So much for posting every day. Doesn't feel like I've been gone that long though.

My sister and her husband went on a much needed vacation sans kids. Guess who watched them. Yup. From Wednesday to Sunday we adopted a 6 year old girl and a 5 year old boy. It's wasn't too bad. Aside from two gymnastic practices, a playdate, going out to eat, to the mall, putt putt golfing, and the park we weren't that busy. Yeah right. I was totally wiped out by Sunday night. When the parents came it was Heaven on Earth for me.

Something occurred to me though. I liked being a mom. I liked driving the van and taking the kids to gymnastics (the girl and the boy). I liked it. It felt right to me. This means that once Peanut is truly walking and talking I'll probably like this parenting thing a little more. I love him now and things are going pretty well, but it was so nice that the kids could talk and do things for themselves. In another few years that part of it will be easier. I know that with the joy of talking comes the joy of yelling as well.

Another thing that hit me was how much I want to have a little girl. I'm blessed and so happy to have Peanut, but I'd like a little girl too. The frills and ribbons and cute dresses are like candy to a 6 yr old to me. I want to comb hair and braid it and curl it and make her all cutesy. I may end up with another boy the next time around and that would be ok. My heart would love another child regardless of sex. But honestly I'd like it to be a girl.

Oprah's On Rerun. Did You See It?

More teeth. At least I know the reason for the crankies. Peanut has been like a switch. Happy and 'on' one minute and a cranky 'off' beast the next.

I watched Oprah tonight. Her Dr. friend was on. I guess he has a new book out and was telling all about the 'new' diet. Anyway, at one point he was talking about a woman or a man at a certain age and weight being at as much health risk as having cancer. In other words if you had cancer wouldn't you fight it? Why not fight the bulge? This sort of turned a light on for me. I know eating right and exercising is the way to go, but I don't really do it. To put myself at the same risk as cancer and not do something about it is amazing. I'll still have a candy bar tomorrow. I'll still have a Pepsi at lunch. This does not stir me enough to not do it. Ahhh, but it got me thinking. Maybe it's a start. Who knows?

In other news...What do you buy for a four year olds birthday party? What do you buy if there are three of them? Toys? Clothes? I just don't know.

Fathers Day in November. Give Thanks.

I'm taking life one day at a time lately. It's been a struggle for me. On Monday the babysitter came and I spent a portion of the time sitting on the floor in my room. I just didn't know what to do and didn't feel like finding anything. Eventually, I got moving and took a shower and got ready for family pictures. I felt like that again today, but tried to just keep moving. As long as I was moving I was ok. When I stopped moving though, I just zoned out.

My dad came for a visit. Tonight I realized I don't know much about my dad anymore. I only see him a few times a year and only for a couple of hours. A lot of information about his life doesn't make it my way. I don't want to be so far out of touch.

When I was younger my dad was always the answer to everything. He could fix things and find things and make everything better. He would listen and try to help me to help myself. A lot of times he helped me figure out problems that had been bothering me. Now, I don't even know where he is half the time. He calls me the day before he stops by. He usually stays for one a few hours before rushing off to the next visiting stop. Tonight he came and spent the night. We got to go to dinner and talk a little more than usual.

My dad is still the same, but way different. I realized tonight I want him to live to be 1000. Only seeing him once in a while it will take me that long to learn about who he is now. I hope I can be the kind of parent he was to me to Peanut. Wouldn't that be wonderful? Yes. It would. Peanut would be so lucky.

I love you dad.

Monday Morning Update

The boy has learned a few sign language signs. He doesn't always use them correctly, but he's so cute when he does them. He knows eat and will use this 24 hours a day. He doesn't really know to use it when he is hungry. He just uses it all the time. He was doing 'out' for a while, but has sort of stopped doing it and replaced it with some new sign. He puts both arms out to the side with the palms up and sort of shrugs his shoulders. It looks more like "I don't know" than "I want out". He will also do 'more' on occasion. Mostly he claps, but usually means give me more of that.

He doesn't seem to be crazy about walking. He'll do it, but would rather just crawl. I think maybe he is teething again and that's taking most of his brain power. I'm confident he will walk when he wants to.

We have a new regular babysitter. She comes three days a week for three hours. So it's kind of like having one day off only spread out over three days. It gives me a few hours to clean or run errands. The house is staying a little cleaner and I get a nice little mommy break. Peanut really likes her so he likes to play when she comes. So far it's working out for all of us.

Another family birthday party this weekend. The fun just never stops. This is for my sisters kids. Not sure what to get them. At least the party is closer. Instead of being in Columbia it will be closer to KC. That's nice. That way we can stay at our own house and just go for the party. We can leave anytime we want. Hopefully no one is sick this time.

I'm still tired. I guess I need to do some of the things the Dr. suggested. That would require me getting off my duff and doing something though. Not sure how likely that is. Anyone got a dose of get up and go I can have? Blah.