I'm feeling unsettled. Perhaps Fall is a time of transition? The trees change, leaves turn colors and then fall. The weather gets cooler, going from a bit chilly to frigid cold. Everyone seems to be at the start of wrapping up their year. I feel this way. I feel a change is needed. This summer I started a pretty good routine of "me time" but started to fade away once school began. I am ready to take back my time.
I have had a small side business for several years and this year it seems to be a great deal busier. That's great, but it's a lot of work and I am uncertain if it is worth the turmoil it puts my family in. Dinner goes unplanned, kids are raced out the door to their activities and the last time my husband and I actually sat and talked has long passed. Business. It's all business. None of it seems to be making any difference in anyone's lives. Why do it? Obligation maybe? I feel a responsibility to be the one to do this for others. I get paid. I get compensated for what I do so it's not a total loss. It just takes me away from other home activities and "me time".
By the end of the year I will have fulfilled all of the jobs I have committed to. I think the New Year will be the perfect time to ease up on some of those jobs. I will make an effort to say yes to fewer things. My kids need me to be at home. I need me to be at home. Right now, being a stay at home mom is the job I want most.
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