Dreams Are Great Until They Haunt Your Days

I am obsessed.  Really.  My thoughts are mostly consumed by it.  There was yesterday I didn't think about it, but I was at the dentist and really, I could not think about anything else until that was over.  Today I am back on it.  What changes I would make, what I would do first, how the kids would deal with it.  These are consuming me.  My reality is I know this won't ever happen, it will not work.  My dream is another thing all together. 

My daydream is to have a chunk of land very near town.  I don't want to be 30 minutes from the grocery store or the school.  This is about 2 minutes away from our current house.  Still in the same school districts.  Only a minute or two farther from the grocery store or Target. 

On this chunk of land is a large fixer upper house.  I usually imagine a more castle like appearance, but a sweet farm house would be nice too.  Something cheap with some decent bones we could love on.  Sure, this may not even have decent bones, but I am still not deterred.  The potential is overwhelming.  Gorgeous flooring, quaint farmhouse style kitchen, tall ceilings with beautiful lighting.  A mix of glamorous and farmhouse, new and old.  I can see all of it.  I can see the kids learning to drive a farm tractor, fishing in the pond and playing soccer on the back 40.  There isn't actually a back 40, but plenty of room for a soccer field with full size goals to practice on. 

This dream is starting to haunt me.  I can't let it go.  I keep checking the listing to see if it's been snatched up yet.  I may cry if they turn it into a subdivision.  The potential is so there.  I just don't have enough spare change.  The price has come way down, but I would need a miracle.  Not to mention, my husband just isn't that into it.  He doesn't even know about it.  It's not his dream.  I think the whole process would be his nightmare.

Do I share my dream?  Do I speak it into the wind and hope someone hears it?  Will this same dream come around in 15 years when I might be more ready for it?  I don't know.  Logically, I know this is a foolish idea, but somehow I can't seem to get it out of my head.