I Want Mommy

I guess it's true about kids wanting mommy. Peanut was crying and Husband ran up to his room. Everything was quiet so I hung back for a minute. After about two or maybe three minutes I went up to see what was happening. Peanut was sitting on the edge of his bed laughing hysterically. I'm not sure he was awake. We tried talking to him, but it didn't phase him. He just kept laughing. He had also wet his pants. I started to take off his wet clothes and the laughing turned to crying. With only his pajama top on he went to sit on daddy's lap. I started to make the bed and clean the wet spot on the floor.

Daddy was sitting in the chair with Peanut on his lap and the comforter wrapped around them. He wasn't saying much but was clearly exhausted. As I was making the bed Peanut started to whimper and reach for me. Daddy and I switched places. I asked him if he was hurt as he occasionally wakes up with leg pains or cramps. He nodded that something hurt, but couldn't tell me or point to what it was. Finally, I figured he had a bad dream so I asked and he nodded. I asked if that made him feel yucky and again he nodded. I guess he didn't know how to say he was bummed out because of his dream.

I started talking about our upcoming family gathering and how fun it would be to see all the family. He seemed to perk up a bit at the idea of Thanksgiving and seeing everyone. He doesn't know it yet, but he gets to go home with Grandma tomorrow to spend the night there. I think he will be wild with excitement. It's still a secret so I just told how much fun the other stuff would be. He promptly fell asleep on me. We did manage to get the rest of his pajamas on before all that so at least all I had to do was get him in bed. That was no small task since he weighs a ton and a half when asleep. Plus he was wrapped up in the comforter so I couldn't really get him in bed with the covers straight. Oh well.

Sleep well baby. Sweet dreams. I am very thankful we had something fun coming up to cheer him up. Poor guy.

Age to Age

I saw a cute kid tonight. I asked the lady holding him how old he was. She sort of stared at me a minute then said "he was born in June". OK. The lady seemed to be some sort of grandmother. I am not sure if it was his or not, but he seemed good with her holding him. I guess the pause and stare was to give her time to figure his age. She couldn't do it so she said June. That makes the kid 4 or 5 months old depending on when he was born in June. The kid was huge. Sitting up. Looking at me like he wanted a sandwich. I'm not sure she was right about the month. Maybe mammy got confused. Oh well.

My mother gets my birthday wrong. All my life it's been the 16th, but she'll call on the 15th or 17th to wish me happy birthday and then is surprised when I say she is early or late. Something you want to tell me?

Anytime someone asks the birth date of my kids I have to stop and think. I always want to give the current year as the birth year. I forget how fast time flies.

O and Her Big Mouth

So the other day I was watching television (original I know) and saw Oprah. Patrick Swayze's wife was on talking about her life with Patrick. She seemed way too OK talking about all sorts of personal things. I started to tear up a bit when she was talking about his last days and watching him die. I am sure they expected this from the day they got the diagnosis, but still, after 34 years you don't even tear up?

So anyway, O keeps asking her questions, but never lets her answer much.

Oprah: "So, tell us what his last days were like"
Patrick Swayze's non-crying Wife: "He was OK"
O: "Was he in pain?"
PSncW: "Not really-
O: "Because I would think the end would be hard, very painful"
PSncW: "He had the drugs to -
O: "Did you talk with him about dying, God and all that other scary stuff"
PSncW: "The drugs knocked him out"
O: "Did you feel him leave this World"
PSncW: "I've felt animals leave when they died -
O: "You were so close I wonder if he felt he could leave you"
PSncW: "
O: "blah blah blah...I want to talk"

Every interview goes like this. She asks a question and then right as the person is ready to answer she interjects with what she thinks. Shut up already. I get you want to seem empathetic. It's annoying. Ask the question, then shut it.

Not that I watch that often, but it is a bit taxing.

Will You be My Friend?

Can I just say?...Facebook kind of freaks me out. On the one hand it's nice to connect with people and learn more about them. I'm comfortable looking at pictures and reading insights of people I know at this moment in life. These are people I talk to and could hang out with.

It is the people that I have not seen or heard from in over 15 years that sort of takes my breath away. High school was not a fabulous place for me. I was mostly an average person. My school was small and I knew everyone, but was only good friends (or so I thought) with a few of them. After graduation I left for college and never looked back. No one else looked for me. For the most part I just faded away and allowed everyone else to fade as well. Ten years after graduation I got an email letting me know I missed my 10 year reunion. That is OK. I probably would not have gone anyway. A few friends caught me up on their lives and then we promptly lost touch again.

So now 5 years later I joined FB. I found several classmates. Some of them even sent me messages asking how my life is/has been. It feels very odd and somewhat forced to share my life with someone that let me fade away those many years ago. Is it a grudge? They forgot me then so they cannot know me now? My open mind and heart tell me to swallow the hurt and allow them in. The tough part comes after sharing. I posted very little and shared only enough to give a general snapshot of life today. Married with two kids living in xyz. I am finding they start off excited to see me and catch up, then they go back to what they were doing and I fade away again. I am also finding it is painful to again lose touch.

This quick catch up is fine for some folks. Really I am just curious where they are and what happened in their lives. I do not really want a relationship. FB works well for this. I saw a video of FB that really summed it up for me. It is a great tool and yet odd.

Smell the Happieness

Well, Spring has sprung and I'm feeling much better. We are all still having good and bad times, but now that the sky is blue and the grass and trees are green again I am happier. So I just read my last post...Anyone ready for something lighter and happier? Me too. It's wonderful to be able to go outside and not freeze to death. Everything seems happier. Birds are chirping and flowers are starting to peek up. I must really have SAD bad.

*

Some lady was going door to door selling paintings. It was a bit unusual, but they were rather good. I'm not sure if she actually painted anything or just put her name on something, but the pictures were beautiful. I would have bought more if they weren't so pricey. She came down $30 and then I boldly offered her another $20 off. She sort of sighed and bit her lip. She had been out all day and didn't seem to have sold anything. I figured if she was desperate she would take it. She did. I'm the owner of two lovely abstract oil paintings. I really like them and will get them hung up in the next few weeks.

I felt kind of gutsy asking for a deal. I'm not that type of person at all. Usually I just go with whatever is on the table. I don't know what made this moment different. Oh well. In my eyes we both won. She got some cash and I got a couple paintings.






*Peanut and Husband are getting ready for bath and once Peanut takes his clothes off he runs around the house naked for a bit. They are upstairs getting ready for bath and I'm downstairs. A little streaker just ran in and out of here in a flash. Makes me giggle.

Shallow

Politics aside, does anyone else get creeped out looking at John McCain? I'm just not sure I can look at him for the next four years. The teeth are creepy skeleton teeth and he has some sort of funny lisp. Both his hands work like the useless one Bob Dole has. When he smiles it seems like maybe I should turn around because there is a killer with a knife ready to get me.

Palin looks OK, but I'll always think Tina Fey got elected or maybe she should have.

I really don't know much about his politics, but as a person I'm a bit nervous to look at him.

Not Cohesive at All

So a lot of days are rough with an almost 3 yr old. Yesterday was a different story. Thursday is usually our difficult day because Husband is gone all day at work and late into the night with school. Instead of being hard though, it was a great day. Peanut only lost his mind twice and was easily calmed down. I can't even think of anything specific that happened, but it was relaxed and overall a great day.

Of course this morning when he got up he was grumpy again, but I'll take the time I get. It took us a long time to get to school.

I wrenched my back on Monday. I couldn't move much at all. Today it's better, but gets cramped up pretty easy. The worst part was yesterday when both Husband and my sister were like " aren't you better yet?" I understand being curious, but it came out more like they were done caring. Every time I think of talking about it or even mentioning that it hurts I bite my tongue. Then I get annoyed when I do wince or groan in pain and they are like "what's wrong". I'll say, my back hurts and they ask if it's again. No. Not again. Still. How about we not talk about it and I'll just let you know when it's right again?

Random Thoughts:

Why do we pronounce the name Herb with the H, but the seasonings we don't even though they are all spelled the same?

We're watching Posiedon (sp?) on television and it seems to have a few flaws in it. Wouldn't someone notice their ship having issues? I know it would take a while before they could get there, but wow. So are they all part fish? They seem to have a very large lung capacity.

Ok. I'm tired.

Help Yourself

I wanted to shower today. Peanut was downstairs watching a kid show and Thumper was in the bouncy seat in the bathroom with me. I quickly showered and got dressed. Thumper was asleep so I went to check on Peanut, knowing how easily he can get into trouble.

He was sitting on the couch where I left him with a spoon in his hand. I thought it odd, but not really unusual. He has all sorts of odd toys. Anyway, there was also a phone box on the couch too. Husband got a new cell phone and the box was in the toy box to play with. Upon closer inspection of the box, there was some sort of goo in it. At first I was puzzled. What was it? I tentatively sniffed the contents and identified it as yogurt.

At this point I sort of panicked a little. How did he get it? Was there a big mess in the kitchen? I went in there and found the yogurt cup sitting on the counter. He apparently opened the fridge, got the yogurt, opened it, poured it into the phone box, grabbed a spoon and hopped back on the couch to finish the show.

I wasn't mad. I was more amazed he did all that without making a fuss or mess. I simply told him he had to eat his snacks at the table. He ran right in and finished the yogurt. I guess I'll have to shower at night when there is another adult at home to watch him. There is no telling what he could get into.

Indiana Jones

I might spoil it for you so don't read if you want to watch the movie with no opinion in your head.

I thought it was an ok movie. It had action, adventure and an ok storyline. I thought it was a horrible Indiana Jones movie. It was weird. The other three are some of my favorite movies and this one just didn't cut it at all. There were parts that were just thrown in for effect and didn't really have anything to do with the plot. Other things were so far fetched I couldn't believe they were part of the movie.

I Knew It.

This whole pregnancy thing seems to be a numbers game. With cycle days and times and ovulation days and all the other numerical oddities that seem to come up.

Last cycle was all weird. We read this excerpt on how to have a girl and we were trying it out. Basically, the theory is you have sex for seven days after your period and then stop. That's all fine and dandy, but I didn't ovulate until something like cycle day 19. So even though husband thought we were pregnant, we were not.

Both of us were pretty sad about it. Funny, we were not totally sure we were ready for the second child, but once we didn't have it, we realized we wanted it. Make sense? Oh well. We both were comforted knowing it was a fluke cycle and we'd have more chances.

So this cycle we decided to just enjoy each other and not worry so much about taking an ovulation test every day. I sort of had a hint of when I ovulate. I guess this is pretty true for me. Gross, but true. So when it happened I sent husband a message telling him to come home so we could make a baby. Funny thing. He was playing soccer that night with his friends. They went out for a beer and he sent a message letting me know. Then I sent him my message saying I was laying eggs and he should come home. He felt the need to tell his friends. Great. Does a whole soccer team need to know when I'm fertile?

I anticipated my "." on a Tuesday and so on Friday I took a preggo test. Negative. See I really thought this time was it. I just felt like it was right. I would see pregnant women and just feel connected somehow. I guess wanting to be pregnant like other women makes me have something in common.

So about a week before I think my "." is going to start I start getting PMS cranky. It comes full boil on Tuesday night. Peanut us pushing me and I'm just raging mad for no reason. Then Wednesday morning I realize why. PMS. Time for the "." to start. Except it doesn't. I get like three drops and then it stops. I figure the stress and all sort of stopped it. But three days later still nothing. So I 'started' on Wednesday morning, nothing on Wednesday, nothing on Thursday, on Thursday afternoon I start to wonder what's going on. Is my body being weird again? What happens if we can't get pregnant at all? Two of my sisters both had trouble getting pregnant, what if I have trouble too? What lengths are we willing to go? Even though I already had one negative test I decided to take another. At least if it's negative I can relax and just let nature do it's thing and try again next cycle.

I guess that's why I didn't really get my "." this time. I'm pregnant.

70 and Snow

Yesterday it was 70. Today it is snowing. Gotta love the crazy Midwest. Don't like the weather? Wait ten minutes.

Ever feel like the Universe is trying to tell you something? There are times when it feels like it would be better to stop and rewind because somehow you know going forward isn't going to work.

For example, we went to dinner with some friends a few nights ago. I think it was Sunday. Anyway, we went to the restaurant around 6 so we could eat and get the kids home for a decent bedtime. When we walked in there were three (3) 20 somethings just standing there. They sort of ignored us, but worse yet they were ignoring each other. So after staring at them a bit we asked for a table. They all looked puzzled. Did I mention these were the greeters? Finally they said it would be about 15 minutes. OK. They took our name and handed us a buzzer. There was no one else waiting. So we sat. Twenty minutes later they sort of mumbled that a table was ready.

We looked at where they appeared to be setting up a table. It was a table for 4, but had two chairs and two high chairs. I guess two of us just weren't going to sit. They put the high chairs away and the girl took us to a back table. It was a booth with two tables pushed together with chairs on the other side. Really we could have sat almost 10 people there, but we managed. The waitress wasn't really all that friendly, but wasn't rude either. They messed up my drink order and the kids eventually got pretty cranky since it was very close to bedtime as we were still eating.

No one thing was wrong enough for us to leave, but all together it wasn't all that fun either. The food was OK (my burger was a little underdone for me) and we lived to tell the story. It just feels like maybe the Universe was trying to tell us to go somewhere else.

I guess it doesn't help that the couple we went with is one of the couples from the cruise. Neither of us were really ready to socialize with them again yet. After spending so much time with them we needed a break.

So anyway, does the Universe speak to you too? Do you feel like maybe you chose a wrong path and while you didn't suffer from it, it wasn't what you hoped or expected? I'd love to hear stories.