Lesson Learned

The six week challenge is over and I have some thoughts I want to write down so I can remember them.

The challenge was set up in four teams.  Each team member earned points for a variety of items.  Drinking water, exercise on your own, gym fitness, miles walked and more.  At the start of the challenge I had really high hopes of blasting off some weight and really taking myself to the next level.  The first week was a challenge because I didn't plan what I was going to do.  By not taking an active role and waiting for things to come to me I stayed stuck where I was.  After a day or two I realized some effort was going to need to be expended on planning.

So, I planed about a months worth of exercise.  I had REFIT, Bodies, 5ks and my PT to do.  I thought doing these things would be enough to push me to the next level.  I think it would have been fine if I had done them all regularly.  Bodies and REFIT are only once per week and the PT started falling by the wayside once painting picked up again.  So I was left with walking in the evening, which was difficult to arrange with the kids.  I did do pretty well with the non active challenge items like drinking water, wearing swag and posting pictures.  Those were well and good, but didn't really drop any weight.  I was working hard to earn points, but not working as hard to earn my health.

I tried very hard to make wise eating choices.  I was logging everything into the fitbit app to track calories, protein and carbs.  The problem was I had no idea what I should be eating.  I was trying to make better choices though.  Going out to breakfast I skipped the French toast and had an egg white omelet.  Turns out, the French toast probably would have been fine.  I was trying to balance the Carbs, Fats and Proteins, but lost sight of healthy eating and balance. 

About half way through the challenge I noticed I was puffy and felt swollen everywhere.  I attributed it to the heat and walking in the evening after being active most of the day.  I tried to drink more water, but still not loving water, that was hard.  My trainer at the gym suggested I lay off the sodium and drink even more water.  Punching her in the face wasn't an option so I got serious about visiting with a dietitian.  More on that later.  I was super frustrated as I live pretty low sodium and was drinking a massive amount of water for me.  I did a little reading on "water retention" and learned some of it is natural and some is not.  Some, is caused by stress.  What?  No one ever mentioned this.  The anxiety I had over what to eat and what not to eat was causing my body to cling to every bit of everything I put in my mouth.  I was swelling and retaining, but not because of salt, because of stress.

Also at this time other challengers were posting weight and inches lost.  So many were hitting their goals and while I was so proud of them, it made me feel down.  Why was it not working for me?  What was I doing wrong?  I was walking just  like they were so why was I not seeing results?  This was another stressor for me as I was then feeling left behind.  Everyone else seemed to be getting it together and I was falling apart.  Each week I was more and more frustrated at what my body was doing or not doing.  I thought for sure the scale and tape measure would be moving. 

I was trying to relax and have "me time" to not only gain points in the challenge, but to reduce the stress.  It wasn't enough.  It was a constant cycle of stress and anxiety over the stress and anxiety.  The last weekend I was able to let go.  My family was out of town and food choices were limited by a small town.  Because my choices were limited and we were in a car quite a bit I just could not get in the same exercise and food choices and it was OK.  My body relaxed.  I felt good on Monday.  I felt less swollen, less anxious.  As Elsa sings "Let It Go" and I did. 

Today is Wednesday and I just left the dietitian.  I'm really going to like her. She affirmed so much for me.  All my stats came back in great numbers and she was really pleased there are no immediate issues to get in check.  Cholesterol, blood sugar and even weight were all good.  We're going to focus on learning healthy choices in regards to food.  I don't have a scale number to work toward and there is no list of rules to try to obey.  I eat normally.  I read about which foods are in which categories and eventually I'll learn sort of a good, better, best system.  X is fine, Y is better and Z is the best choice you can make.  I'm super stoked. 

One thing she really helped me with today was the stress and anxiety.  For me, it absolutely is a killer.  I hold on to weight and inflammation like a boss under stress.  My face even broke out like a 16 year old and I was so down.  Today, I feel good.  The pants are loose, the tummy is not bloated and I feel able to handle the day to day issues that come up. 

So even though the challenge is over I want to keep going.  I want to keep walking/running.  I want to increase my daily exercise and keep the water flowing.  I also want to add in some solid nutrition as I learn in the next 10 weeks with J.D.  BUT!  I'm not going to stress about it.  I refuse to compare my walk of life to anyone else.  I refuse to see my friend drop 10 lbs and be jealous.  Motivation and determination will be my guide.  My plan is to go on MY journey.  I welcome any encouragement, but I will not succumb to comparison.  My goal is to be a better ME, not just rack up points.