Thursday, February 14, 2008

The Tide is Turning

The hormones seem to be shifting, at least for today.

Last night after Husband got home and we had dinner, I went up to take a shower. He watched Peanut while I was gone. When I got out I watched the two of them play from the upstairs balcony. I watched Peanut open a card from Grandma. I watched them play ring around the rosy. I watched Peanut push his shopping cart all over the house. It was fantastic. Something about watching unnoticed and getting to appreciate the full force of the moment. At that moment I felt so blessed to be the mother and wife of these fabulous boys. I want to hold on to that as long as I can.

I blame hormones for all my troubles. Normally I'm pretty emotional, but it peaks and valleys with my girly cycle. Now I'm living mostly in the valley with this pregnancy. It's been hard. It's nothing like the first pregnancy.

The first one was so great. Even though I was working I enjoyed being pregnant. I guess because we could still enjoy the single life even though a baby was on the way. Now we are parents and it almost feels like we are trapped even more by another baby. It's not really true though. We have some people in the area that will babysit even if it's for a few hours. Somehow not being able to drop everything and go to a 10pm movie seems totally unfair. The dumb thing is we wouldn't do that even if we had no other kids.

We are currently at 26 weeks. Over half way and yet it seems so far away. On one hand I'm ready for it to be over, but on the other I'm nervous. I'm ready to have my body and mind back, but what condition will it be in with two kids?

Anyway, last night and today have been nice. I have enjoyed being a mother and that feeling has been gone for a long time. I'm happy Peanut is mine.

Not sure spell check is working and I'm too tired to do it myself.

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