Sorry I Dozed Off.

I'm getting tired. Not quite the exhaustion that I had with Peanut, but I wear out much faster now. I went to work on a painting job yesterday and kept stopping and didn't get much done. Today I had the day to myself. Peanut went to stay with J. Since I would have no interruptions I thought I'd get huge amounts done. While it feels like I did, I can't really see the difference.

In hopes of staying more alert and lest vomitous (it's a pregnant lady word) I'm reading about what to eat when expecting. So far it makes me very sleepy to read it, but hopefully I'll get in gear and start eating better. My diet isn't horrible, but it could get a lot better.

Today I made the OB appointment. Husband is excited. He must have asked a dozen times when I was going. Does it make it more official to go to the Dr? She's just going to have me piddle on a stick and tell me to come back in a month. Oh well.

This is the time of year that always slips by so fast. Once the Holidays start rolling around it zooms by until February. Then it creeps until summer. I'm not ready. I'd like another couple months of summer. We have some outdoor projects that need finishing before winter and I'm not sure how much we'll get done. We have something planned for every weekend in October. While I'm excited for all the activities, I'm not so excited that nothing will be getting done on my house. One day at a time. The basement is starting to look pretty good. Slowly things are coming together.

I'm worn out from all this typing. I better go lie down.

Sweet Jesus What Have We Done?

So I'm like 3 days pregnant and my not quite two year old is screaming his head off upstairs. I'm not sure what set it off. He had an odd nap, but slept. He played pretty hard today with several other kids and maybe that was too much. I don't know.

We tried not to rush him, but it was past bedtime so we were pushing to go up and change to pj's. He went upstairs crying, but not screaming. Then we tried to take his clothes off. Whoa, he freaked. We basically ripped his clothes off and wrestled his pajamas on. Then he kept screaming. Want to read books? Noooooo. Want to snuggle? Nooooo. Want to go to bed? No answer, but not really a yes. After about 15 minutes of this husband put him in bed. Peanut took it to the next level.

He is now hysterically calling for Mama and Dada, but shoves us away and screams louder when we try to go in there. I just want to curl up and cry my eyes out. I'm doing this again? What made me think I can do this with two? Why on Earth did I think I could handle this? Did we just make the biggest mistake of our lives?

Every fiber tells me to go get him, but it only makes him angrier. Help.

I Knew It.

This whole pregnancy thing seems to be a numbers game. With cycle days and times and ovulation days and all the other numerical oddities that seem to come up.

Last cycle was all weird. We read this excerpt on how to have a girl and we were trying it out. Basically, the theory is you have sex for seven days after your period and then stop. That's all fine and dandy, but I didn't ovulate until something like cycle day 19. So even though husband thought we were pregnant, we were not.

Both of us were pretty sad about it. Funny, we were not totally sure we were ready for the second child, but once we didn't have it, we realized we wanted it. Make sense? Oh well. We both were comforted knowing it was a fluke cycle and we'd have more chances.

So this cycle we decided to just enjoy each other and not worry so much about taking an ovulation test every day. I sort of had a hint of when I ovulate. I guess this is pretty true for me. Gross, but true. So when it happened I sent husband a message telling him to come home so we could make a baby. Funny thing. He was playing soccer that night with his friends. They went out for a beer and he sent a message letting me know. Then I sent him my message saying I was laying eggs and he should come home. He felt the need to tell his friends. Great. Does a whole soccer team need to know when I'm fertile?

I anticipated my "." on a Tuesday and so on Friday I took a preggo test. Negative. See I really thought this time was it. I just felt like it was right. I would see pregnant women and just feel connected somehow. I guess wanting to be pregnant like other women makes me have something in common.

So about a week before I think my "." is going to start I start getting PMS cranky. It comes full boil on Tuesday night. Peanut us pushing me and I'm just raging mad for no reason. Then Wednesday morning I realize why. PMS. Time for the "." to start. Except it doesn't. I get like three drops and then it stops. I figure the stress and all sort of stopped it. But three days later still nothing. So I 'started' on Wednesday morning, nothing on Wednesday, nothing on Thursday, on Thursday afternoon I start to wonder what's going on. Is my body being weird again? What happens if we can't get pregnant at all? Two of my sisters both had trouble getting pregnant, what if I have trouble too? What lengths are we willing to go? Even though I already had one negative test I decided to take another. At least if it's negative I can relax and just let nature do it's thing and try again next cycle.

I guess that's why I didn't really get my "." this time. I'm pregnant.

Whole Bunch of Nothing

So this is my first week without any daycare. So far it's going OK, but not great. Yesterday, Peanut took no nap. Today he is napping, or at least he is very quiet in his room. I don't dare go check for fear of waking him.

I've been trying to plan the birthday. As you may or may not recall Peanut is 3 days younger than his cousin C. I called my sister to ask if she wanted to do a joint party again. She said yes and we picked a weekend. Great. My mom's reunion is that weekend and she will be out of town. Not great. Even though she went on and on about if we had to have it then she'd have to miss it, blah blah blah. Right. Like we're having it without her and want to hear about it for eternity. So sister sends me a message asking about the weekend before that. I said great. So I sent a message to another sister to see if she was free that weekend. She said she was planning on going to see sister #4. Not great. Do we run over their plans? We're sort of running out of weekends in October. This is why I HATE that they share a birthday. Because if it was just Peanut I would plan a party and whoever shows up gets to have a blast. Instead we have to play "please all the family all the time". It's starting to be annoying.

How old am I? By the look of my face you might guess 13. You'd be wrong, of course, but my pimples don't know that. I thought as you got older they sort of naturally went away. What gives? It seems like in the last week or so it's gotten way bad. It was one two once in a while and now is a bunch, now! I switched soap to something aimed at acne, but I'm not holding my breath. I guess I should drink more water and eat better. Will that help?

Also, I'm lonely. I took Peanut to the Mall today and realized how badly I'd like someone to go with me to talk. Most everyone I know is either A) at work or B) lives too far away. My sister is close and doesn't work, but her kids schedules are so wonky she has to leave by 11:30 to go get one of them. We didn't even get to the mall until 10:45. That doesn't leave my social time. Really I'd like to go shopping, to movies or out to eat with someone. I could take Peanut, but it would be nice to go as adults. Oh well. That's the price of having children. What do I need new clothes for anyway? Playing peek-a-boo a hundred times isn't exactly wearing out anything.

Blah blah blah, must be PMS.

Poke a Hole in His Head

My son was born with a mild hearing loss. We found this out within his first few weeks of life. When he was only a few months old he got his first set of hearing aids. We've never really known if they help him or not. Some times they really do and others it feels like a waste of time to get them in.

We see an audiologist every month. They take him in the sound booth and test his hearing for a few minutes. At his age he has little patience so they do a little bit each time. The theory is after a while you get the whole picture by putting the pieces together. Each time we go they also to a tympanogram test. For the last (almost) year his levels have been flat (bad), indicating fluid in the ears.

In July we were sent to our ENT to discuss the chronic fluid. We had to wait a month to see the ENT. Once there, he looked fine. So we didn't do anything. Today we went back to the audiologist and once again he had flat levels. Great. Funny thing though, our ENT happens to work at that hospital on various days. He was there today and we were able to see him. Yes. There is fluid. He didn't seem to offer much in the way of a solution. He mentioned ear tubes, but didn't really push one way or another.

The audiologist was pushing for ear tubes. She thinks it will be great for him. So we went ahead and made an appointment to have it done. We have a couple weeks to change our minds, but I don't think we will. It's a simple procedure, but they will knock him out. I'm not wild about that part.

This whole adventure is a catch 22. He isn't really old enough to tell us if the aids help him or not. So we go get testing done. Every time we test he has compromised ears (fluid) so his results are not normal. We have no idea day to day how he is hearing. The aids are set at levels based on his testing. What happens on those days the fluid is gone? Are we blasting him out of the water?

I hope these tubes resolve the fluid issue. Then we can test and I might actually believe the results. Then we can see where to go from there.

Now They Come to Me

So I was wondering why no one was commenting on my posts. DUH! I never updated my email from the move. There are comments, I just usually read them through email instead of in the actual comments sections.

Barbies New House

This is my new house. It's on a quiet street with nice neighbors. You can see the huge trees that line the back yard. When we are in the back yard or look out the back we feel like we're in the country. Since our street is curved the neighbor's houses are angled away and harder to see unless you are all the way in front or back.

So far things are going well. I'm hoping once we get pictures on the wall and such that it will feel more like home. It's definitely our house, but it's not quite my home yet. Make any sense? I'll post more pictures when it gets more organized.

It has four bedrooms upstairs so Peanut gets his own room and if we ever have the sequel he/she can have his/her own room too. The laundry is up there too. There is also a full basement with a full bathroom, storage area and wet bar. Our awesome friends J&A bought us a bar fridge for a housewarming gift. Cool. Things are starting to get where they should be, but it's taking a while.

Where'd It Go?

Peanut has a new trick. He holds his hands out palms up and says "Where'd it Go?" It's too cute! Now he asks about everything. If daddy is at work he asks "Where Daddy?" We saw a squirrel at the park and it ran into the trees "Where Go?"

It's seems in the last few days he is finally talking more. He's putting words together and saying more coherent things. He has always been a talker, but we couldn't understand any of it. Now we can usually get some or all of it. I'd say 85% of the time we at least know what he means even if we can't get all the words.

The move was rough on him, but he has finally settled down and is my sweet boy again. We still have moments, but they are normal almost two year old behavior moments. He has little tantrums once in a while and he carefully sits down and lays his head on the floor and then starts to wail. It's like "I'm having a fit, but I refuse to bonk my head about it". Too funny.

We're still trying for the sequel. We'll see what happens this month. I didn't do any egg laying testing, though I think we did time things better. Who knew it would be a 35 day cycle last time? This one seems more normal, but what do I know? I'll do a pregnancy test in a few days. I could do one now, but I'll wait just to be cautious. Or maybe I'll run upstairs and do it now. Aaagh.

Today is the last day of daycare for Peanut. I'm happy to be saving the money and the drive time for Husband, but sad I may lose my mommy days. My sister lives fairly close and we've talked about trading daycare days with each other. Free daycare, woo hoo! I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic. Their lives are much more hectic than mine so if something comes up it will be on her end. We'll see how it all works out.