Monday, June 11, 2007

Number Two, No not That!

I find myself not sure about having another child. Some moments I want nothing more than to see two lines and have another. The rest of the time I can't imagine staying sane enough to raise Peanut AND a sibling. Peanut is a handful. He's two hands full. Actually, it takes several hands: mine, husband, and all the lovely ladies at daycare. Still another baby would be wonderful.

Factors to Consider:

1. I'm going to be 32 this summer. The older I get the greater my chances of trouble with the pregnancy or trouble to the child. The first pregnancy was healthy other than Peanut was huge. I'd say I'm about the same healthy body I was then.

2. Peanut requires SO much attention. How will I manage? I was exhausted with the first pregnancy. I fell asleep at 5 and woke up for a little dinner and went back to bed. I had morning sickness for the first 4+ months and maneuvering around a large belly isn't all that easy. Would it be better to wait until he is a little older and can understand better? Telling him "mommy needs to rest" doesn't mean much to him.

3. We got pregnant easily, but will we be so lucky? One of my sisters got pregnant on her first try and then couldn't conceive for almost 6 years. What if that is me? I can't wait 6 years.

4. We're trying to sell the house and move. Is it better or worse to be pregnant during this? Not sure. I think there are pros and cons to it all.

5. I'm scared another child will widen the gap between husband and me. We've not been as close since Peanut was born. I took on the 'mommy' role and long since forgot the 'wife' part. I've been slowly trying to get back to the multi-role person, but it takes time. Will being pregnant help or hurt that?

6. Would Peanut be better as an only child or would a sibling help? Would he be a good brother?

7. I'd really like any future children to not be born in any month between October to March. My preference would be April or May. I'd take June or September and settle for July or August. There are just too many other birthdays, anniversaries or Holidays to try to add another one in there. Which kind of means we need to get busy soon.

8. I don't want to be pregnant with anyone else nearby. My sister gave birth 3 days before me. My friend A gave birth 6.5 months before me. My friend H gave birth 6 weeks after me. Some of my thunder was stolen. While I enjoyed every minute I had to share the spotlight sometimes and didn't want to. What if I get pregnant and then everyone I know does too? This one ties in to #9 as a double edge. See it's nice having friends with kids the same age, but it's also annoying to hear all the comparisons.

9. Most all our friends have one child close in age to Peanut. It's OK to go out with them because it's all balanced. If we have another then we'll be the wonky couple with two kids throwing the balance off. I'm not sure I have a point here, but my brain worries about this stuff.

So. I don't know. I guess we'll see what happens.

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